When I'm Gone
by Constance Warner
Summary: Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger's flashbacks of their adventures together.


Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?

Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?

When they know they're your heart

And you know you were their armour

And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her

But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?

And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?

What happens when you become the main source of her pain?

_"I'm dangerous, Hermione. I'm not for you, I won't let myself taint you", he sullenly said. Oh how I love this man, he has grown and learned so much through the years - physically and mentally. He's no longer the childish meanie that used to bully Ron, Harry and I. He has grown to respect both of them ever since we started dating in sixth year. We've been through so much together._

_ "But Draco! You can't do this! We've been through so much things together, we faced Voldemort together, we faced Rita Skeeter and the Wizarding World together, you even switched loyalties! What happened, what suddenly brought this up?" I desperately asked, trying to hold myself together._

_ "Please love, you have to understand! I love you, I swear to all Metaphysical powers that exists, I honestly love you! But I can't be with you, can't you see? I'm an ex Death Eater, I murdered countless innocent Muggles, I formulated a plan to trap the Order, to harm you! Voldemort EMBRACED me! I am absolutely disgusted with myself, can't you see? I'm the filth, never you Hermione. I'm the lowest of the low, scum of the world, even Muggles are purer than me. You, on the other hand, is… Everything good! I can't taint you with the sins of my past, what if some crazed Voldemort reincarnate suddenly decided to pop up?! They'll hunt and torture me by harming you 'cause they know you're my everything. Don't you understand, I love you - That's why I have to leave you!" Draco rambled, in the brink of hysterics._

_ Traitorous tears trailed down his pale, well sculptured cheeks and slid down to his jaws. I immediately leaned over to wipe it, and kissed his forehead silently._

_ "How many times have I told you that I don't care? I don't care what you did, who you followed or who's your parents, all that matters to me is who you really are."_

That was two years ago, when he had to forcefully tell me to leave, to protect me from the remaining Death Eaters who hasn't been captured by the Aurors.

* * *

Draco's POV

"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane

"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"

I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy

Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself

I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself

Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her

And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her

_"Daddy, daddy look! I drew a picture of us! The tallest one with yellow hair is you, Daddy! Next to you is Mommy, I even coloured her hair brown with curls. And the smallest one is me!" Five year old Hailie explained happily._

_ "Not now kiddo, Daddy's busy. Daddy's writing a song for Mommy, just show that to your nanny, what was her name again? Linda?" I replied offhandedly, not even looking at her. I didn't see her frown but I can feel her hurt and disappointment. At that time I was just too selfish to care._

_ "Dad, where's Mommy? I haven't seen her all day, I'll just show her then", she said._

_ "Sorry Hailie, your mother can't be with us right now, she's on vacation with Auntie Ginny", I lied to her, just like what I did to her mother - over and over again. I did it for her own good, she's too pure and precious to be revealed to the harsh truth._

That was the day after Hermione left, when my world came tumbling down and I started to spiral down to depression.

* * *

Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat

The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet

I take a bow and thank you all for coming out

They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd

I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing

"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding!"

_ Broken sobs can be heard clearly throughout the large, empty room._

_ "Hermione! What happened?" When she didn't reply I cradled her when I saw her exposed wrists… Cuts - old and new, and blood everywhere. "Please don't tell me you did this to yourself!" I pleaded tearfully. "I'm sorry Draco, but these are self-inflicted. It's just too much…" She whispered brokenly. We just stayed like that on the floor, cradling each other as hours passed._

* * *

But alas, that was the past. Everything is okay now, we are finally reunited and stronger than ever. I love you Hermione, I love you Hailie, I love our family.

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn

Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice

Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling

And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain

Just smile back


End file.
